Turning 24: A Year Older and a Year Wiser?


 

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Crap.

When did this happen? When did I turn 24? Well —  technically it happened on April 26, 2013 — but I’m still having trouble accepting that I am living in a Cyberspace age like 2013, let alone that I’m 24. I’m the baby — how could I actually be this old and remember my past as recent history? Sometimes I feel like I should be sitting in a rocker telling tales of the “golden days” to the “kids” of today. But that doesn’t seem right either because I feel like these birthdays are just creeping on me without so much as a notice, and I must be actually much younger!

That’s what it is.

I thought that I’d get some sort of prepped notice every year reminding me of all the events that took place in the last year, so that when the time came to turn another year older, I would actually feel like I had lived an entire year. Somehow time isn’t that forgiving, and there is no friendly reminder — just birthdays that make you wonder where the time is really going.

So, now I’m 24. Don’t ask me how it happened, but little ol’ me, the baby of the family, reached her “mid 20s.” And taking a few minutes to actually reflect, I’m relieved to say that time didn’t just speed me through 365 days without teaching me at least a little something in return. I had 10 life lessons to share last year, but this past year has taught me some things that I’m hoping I can say have made me a year wiser. Here are a few:

  1. You have to know when it’s time to stick up for yourself without letting your ego get in the way. When I find someone trying to take advantage of me or my time, my ego tends to want to speak for me (because how dare you treat me like this, right?), but that’s never a good idea. There’s a way to put your foot down without being flippant, and finding the balance is always the key.
  2. Some people will never change, and you just have to change your expectations that they will. I’d banked on the hope that certain people or certain relationships would change, so that I could be happier. But in the end, all that investment only made me more unhappy and disappointed when things didn’t work out how I hoped. Some people have surprised me in the last year for the better, and that was a great feeling. For the rest, I’ve realized that I need to let what will be just be.
  3. Irrational anger will just eat you up and feed that pesky ego again. Blowing up about being stuck in traffic? Complaining that someone bumped into you at a crowded place? Just idiotic and pointless. What’s even the point of being angry about something so small, when it means nothing at the end of the day? I’m no one special; it happens; get over it, and move on.
  4. Most of my problems are maintained by me. Ever notice how easy it is to blame others for “making” you feel one way or another? Other people definitely contribute to trust issues, insecurities and hurt feelings, but no one can actually make you feel any other way than you want to feel. I can make everything worse if I want to, but I can also make them at least a bit better by just letting it roll off and moving on.
  5. At some point, leaving the party early or turning down plans just to stay in and enjoy alone time is really, totally okay. I used to be afraid I’d be missing out on something if I said no, and sometimes I still feel like I need to do as much as possible because otherwise I’m denying myself some great memories — but sometimes it really is just best to stay in or be alone. Now, I try to do what feels right in the moment — without fear of regret — and then accept my decision, whatever it is.

Do you feel like you can say you learn a lot year by year? Share some of your learned wisdom with me!

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Did You Just Say That? Oh, The Ridiculous Things Guys Say


Okay, I promise this isn’t a post just to bitch about “why guys just say the dumbest things,” blah, blah, blah. I really do empathize with the pressure a guy must feel when introducing himself to a new girl. He not only needs to have the right approach that’s just smooth enough without being douchey and forward enough without being creepy, but he also has to make sure to have a great opening line. Unfortunately first impressions stick, and all the so-called rules can be a lot to deal with. Totally on your side, there.

But seriously…sometimes I just want to ask a guy, “Did you just say that….out loud?”

I’m sure I heard some pretty crazy ridiculous things in college (because college guys are the best for saying the stupidest shit, let’s just be honest), but I feel the post-college guys have left a bigger impression. Maybe I’m just hearing a lot of ridiculous things back-to-back, or maybe guys are just getting worse at understanding that a simple “Hey, how are you?” is totally okay as an opening line, but why not take a look back at the best, most ridiculous things guys have said to me — at least in working memory — and reminisce a little…

Is That Really You?!

(Looking at my ID)

Him:  Wow, you’re so much hotter in person…

Me: …Um…yeah..I was 18 in that picture. I had some baby fat, I guess…

Him: No, but really…you look much hotter in person. It’s not just the baby fat. You just look much better in person.

Me: Thanks…

Dear God, do you just not know when to stop talking? I know some devil’s advocate out there wants to tell me, “The guy was trying to give you a compliment, give him a break.” I understand that that may have been the intent, but I’m not even really sure. This guy was so insistent on making sure to continue to point out that I just looked SO much better in person than I did in a picture that was six years old. When you’ve already said something that could so easily get misconstrued anyway, why are you going to keep repeating yourself as if it’s helping the case? Comparing a girl to her own self and telling her that one version is SO much better looking? That’s not a compliment, and now you sound like an ass…three times over.

Don’t Be So Uptight, Okay?

(Text before meeting up for the first time)

Him:  I’ve been having a hard work week, so you have to promise not to be uptight and be laid back.

Who, in his right mind, thinks this is a totally casual, perfectly okay text to send someone before meeting up for the first time? He followed this up by saying that I also had to let him pay for the bill without any arguments, so I took that he was trying to be nice in his own weird way? Still, asking someone to promise not to be uptight because you’ve had a hard work week…that’s a bit much, especially when you don’t know each other.

Where Are You From, Really?

(A guy talking to me and my [clearly] African-American friend)

Him: So, do you know where you’re from in Africa?

Us: *crickets*

My Friend: No…I’m not from Africa. 

Him: No, I know. But I had a friend named [some very African name] who was from Ghana.

(Did he even make a point?)

My Friend: Okay, but he was obviously actually from Africa. I’m not. My name is Jane Doe.

Him: No, I know, but I just thought that maybe you know where in Africa you’re from.

My Friend: I’m not from Africa…!!

Sadly, this conversation kept going on in circles like this for a couple of minutes with the guy still arguing his point that he had other Black friends who were actually from Africa, so maybe my friend knew her “origins.” (Come on, way to be so stereotypically racist.) His other friends, just so you know, had actually recently emigrated from Africa and had ethnic ties to their respective countries, not just a shared genetic pool with other “Africans.” Yet another instance when I just can’t help but wonder why someone would continue going on and on when the first attempt to say something that could totally go hit-or-miss OBVIOUSLY missed.

Oh, the ridiculous guys things say…

Sorry, I’m Not Sorry for Unfriending You


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 (Photo credit: sitmonkeysupreme)

Ahh, Facebook. How it has completely changed the way people interact and have expectations for “normal” social behavior. We now have rules for things that didn’t even exist less than a decade ago. What’s appropriate to say in a status update? Is it okay to post a million selfies of yourself? Should I be “friends” with my parents and bosses? Answers to questions like this are completely new additions to the Handbook of Good Social Behavior, and it’s kind of extraordinary that this generation is almost creating a new etiquette for this era.

I’ve found that one of the most controversial and debated Facebook social behavior topics on what’s “appropriate” is the friending and ‘unfriending’  of friends. (The Facebook-born word itself is a great example of these guidelines.) Being friends with someone in real life and being friends with someone on Facebook shouldn’t be mutually exclusive, but with some people, it definitely is. You know what I’m talking about.

I know Facebook isn’t meant for you to stay in touch with your closest friends — although it helps. But I find that more and more it’s not even about staying in touch anymore. Facebook is now just a social media platform with an ego-centric formula built right in, made so you can broadcast your own life to your “friends.” Think about it.

It’s not a blanket statement, and it’s not a criticism;  it’s just an observation that you can’t deny has some truth to it. We use Facebook to talk about ourselves.

So, now to the topic of all those so-called friends. Now, you may find me hypocritical when I make my next point considering this is a public blog that I do broadcast on my Facebook profile, but just hear me out. I’m not publishing my life on my blog, only select ideas and thoughts that are meant to reach an audience. You also aren’t bound to see this — it was your conscious decision to read me rant on. I use my Facebook with caution of who will see what.

Frankly, I just don’t have over 700 friends in my life who I want seeing pictures of my weekend shenanigans, complaints about the cold NYC weather and how I felt about The Walking Dead finale. My philosophy about sharing has always been that if you wouldn’t tell someone something in person then don’t tell them on Facebook. You can see the problem this presents when you have almost 1,000 “friends” and maybe 200 actual people you talk to (if that). Either you don’t share or you don’t friend.

Now I still don’t think you should be using your Facebook like a journal or a therapist. But I am really likely to care even less about your already boring trip to the grocery store if we are barely friends to begin with. It’s nothing against you, but we barely know each other! Maybe we were closer once upon a time, or perhaps there was a window of time when we could have become better acquainted, and it’s now passed. Whatever it is, I’m probably going to unfriend you now. I might not even like you (or I know you don’t like me — let’s just be honest grown-ups here — high school and college is over now. No need for that unnecessary pretending.) so what’s the use in our being privy to one another’s lives only to gossip?

I’m still not in contact with a lot of my current friends, but there are those who make an effort to leave a comment here and like a post there. To those just stalking quietly — or worse — just getting annoyed at my posts, what’s the point?

So, don’t be offended if I’ve unfriended you. It most likely wasn’t anything personal. I just want to be able to share things with people I actually talk to — even if it is just on Facebook. There’s no need for any middle school drama because there’s no offense intended. But really…sorry, I’m not sorry for unfriending you.

10 Life Lessons from a 23-Year-Old


Life is

Now, immediately, you might read the title of this post and think: What life lessons does someone who hasn’t even reached a quarter of a century have to teach someone else? And to you  I’d say: I don’t blame you for thinking that. But didn’t a wise person once say that age wasn’t about  the number — or something like that? Most of you won’t know more than 5 things about me (and a lot of them were probably learned from this blog), but you should know that I’ve been both fortunate (and sometimes unfortunate) enough to experience more than some people  who are twice my age (all the good, bad and ugly). And through it all, I’ve come to at least learn a few things, even if they didn’t hit me immediately.

Most of my life experiences were pre-made and boxed, just waiting for me to come upon them at some point — that is, if I tell you that I don’t believe in some sort of alternate destiny, where the decisions I’ve made at every fork in the road have led me to those experiences. It’s hard to tell. On the other hand, there are many instances in my short life when it’s been easier to see a cause and effect of a decision I made, myself. Whatever the case, I’ve learned a lot and am still unraveling these clues to living wisely that were so cleverly wrapped up in an experience.

Sometimes the thing you think you’ve learned is not always the bigger picture. Maybe in 10 more years, I won’t have these same lessons to pass on — even when I look back at the same experiences. But for now, these are the 10 life lessons from a 23-year-old:

  1. You can never make someone love you — ever. No amount of guilt, kicking and screaming or mind-games can ever change that. If someone loves you, they just do.
  2. Being jealous or angry of what someone else has is completely pointless. Your lives are entirely unrelated, and what one of you has nothing to do with what the other person does or doesn’t.
  3. Relish your time alone. That overwhelming sense of feeling everything you’re feeling is often the best time to make sense of it all.
  4. Putting yourself out of your comfort zone over and over will only help you to understand what you want in life and what you don’t. Plus — it gets less scary each time.
  5. Keep a journal. It’s the closest you’ll ever get to time-travel (pictures aren’t the same at all), and there’s nothing like hearing from yourself during the happiest, saddest, most tumultuous and ridiculous times of your life.
  6. Have fun. Lots of it. Every opportunity you get to enjoy life, do it. Why would you pass up such precious time?
  7. Make peace with death — with your own and the ones you’ll experience. As soon as you stop seeing it as a tragedy, you can accept it as just another transition.
  8. Work on having faith — in people, yourself, love and life in general. It’s probably the single, most difficult thing to possess, but also the most powerful.
  9. Learn how to properly use they’re, their, there and you’re, your — please! People will and do (rightfully) judge you.
  10. The proper way to sneeze when you don’t have a tissue at hand is into your shoulder — not your hands! Stop the spread of germs, people!!

Learning to Let Go: My New Life Resolution


One of life’s greatest struggles has always been the ability of letting go —  of possessions, people, our emotions. Many philosophers and spiritual leaders argue that becoming attached to physical things, people and even our feelings is not only unhealthy, but can also be very detrimental to your overall well-being — for your current life and beyond (whatever you believe that is).

Attachment can be like being bound in chains — it can eventually control your every action, thought and emotion, if given that strength. It’s not difficult to recall at least one forlorn lover who withered away to nothingness — sometimes resorting to death him/herself when that great love left this world. It’s almost too simple to think of just one person whose world revolved around riches, beautiful homes and other tangible things that showed his/her level of status. And it’s an everyday feeling to hold resentment, bitterness and sadness when betrayal, lies or failures come our way. But this is the residual mess created by our willingness to succumb to attachment, and all that’s usually left is pain, hurt and, as wise ones often say, an overall unhealthy well-being.

Perhaps it’s the attachment that we should be fighting to relieve our problems. I’ve been working for some time to adhere to this new idea, and though the idea is simple, the act of adapting is a lot harder. For reasons unknown — and I’m sure many will agree — people would rather feel something, whether it be painful or not, than feeling nothing at all. Similarly, I’ve found that anytime I’ve successfully begun to let go of an attachment I’ve recognized in my life and can feel the release and peace from the lack of those chains, it’s a little scary; sometimes I’d rather just go back to my olds ways — just to feel like my old self, and because it’s easier to be that way.

And I definitely have — many times…But these are the things I’m learning to let go (or working on it, anyway).

Expectations

I’ve tried to explain to many people who I have very little expectations for my future because it’s not  a healthy way to live. I’ve been disappointed to hear responses like, “Be more positive,” and the like. Be more positive? That’s not what this is about at all… The thing is, to have expectations and to have hope are two very different things; I have hope that things will be better, but I work very hard not to have expectations. How do you differentiate without having a sense of pessimism? Good question — and one I can’t really answer until you understand the difference for yourself. Hope means having faith that things will be okay regardless of the outcome of a situation ; expectations means feeling deserving of a certain outcome and have tunnel vision for only that outcome — which we all know is never in our hands. That’s the difference to me, and the only way I can be sane and content with the way my life is now and the way my life will ever be, I know I need to let go of expectations that things will always get better; I’ll fulfill all my dreams; I’ll marry the guy of my dreams, and about a million other things in “the plan” I’ve made for my life. Expectations are unhealthy, I’ve found, and I’d rather just have hope.

People

This is the toughest one for me because I love people hard — and of course, not everyone is like that, so it’s rarely reciprocated to the same extent. So many relationships — friends, family, etc. have changed in an instant, and every time it hurts the same. I’ve realized that it’s a pattern in my life, and perhaps it’s my inability to accept change, and this is where attachment has especially really hurt me. I’ve tried to close myself up and be less of a good friend or be less open to new relationships hoping that if and when that one ended, it would just catch me off guard less. The thing is though, it’s not that easy to change who you are, but I’ve learned to [try] let go of the attachment. Loving people but not letting your happiness be dependent on whether they love you back is important to understand because I’ve learned to let go. I don’t have to change who I am, but I can just change the way how I understand the situation.

Similarly, when a loved one passes on, it’s really helped me come to peace with it or — or at least the thought of it. It’s the way of life, and to let yourself be consumed with grief is a tell-tale sign of attachment. To grieve for someone’s death and be sad is, of course, due respect; however, to let yourself die a little with that person is only a way of killing yourself, too. And this is not the natural way of life, otherwise you wouldn’t be alive either — that’s just the way I feel about it.

Emotions

Bitterness and resentment can eat your soul bit by bit, whether you’re harboring bad feelings over failures in life, people who betrayed you or whatever. I’ve found that being bitter and resentful towards the circumstances in my life have only attached me to those circumstances, and the feelings keep me bound from moving on. It’s not easy to let go of these poisonous feelings once they’ve been planted in your heart, but I know personally how unhappy I am when I’m thinking about a certain unhappy situation, whether it be today or 10 years ago, and I find myself bitter or resentful. Not one of us has control over the outcome of any situation in our lives — only the paths we take to deal with the situations, and even those only present themselves in mysterious ways. Whether people are betraying you, you’re failing in life or you’re just unhappy for reasons you don’t understand, I know that — at least for me — deciding to let go of the bitterness and resentment is the first step.

Learning to let go has now becoming my life’s resolution because I know it’s not something I’ll accomplish in a day or in a year, and I’ll probably waver many times even when I’m making progress. I’ll probably never accomplish true detachment because, let’s face it, I’m only human — but hey, there’s no vanity in trying, right?

4 Random Acts of Kindness I’ve Experienced in New York So Far


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If you’re new to my blog, then you should know that I’m from Texas and recently just uprooted myself to The Big Apple (just past my two-month yesterday). However, I’ve been fighting the “All New Yorkers are rude” stereotype ever since I returned to Texas from my Marie Claire internship two years ago.

While I have never had to deal with so much repetitive, outright rudeness to give this stereotype even somewhat truth to its claim, it seems that people everywhere are insistent on believing that (or asking me if) New Yorkers are just a rude breed of people. C’mon, people — listen to yourselves — you sound downright silly! (They’re angsty, maybe, but not rude…)

But today, I’m here to set the record straight — once, and for all: it’s simply not true. Since I’ve been here, I’ve had plenty of personal accounts that show me that there are genuinely kind people in this city — and I’ve been blessed enough to already have encountered them! Some are way more dramatic than others, but nonetheless — they have stood out in some way  or another.

Here are 4 random acts of kindness I’ve kindness I’ve experienced in New York, so far:

1.  The Late-Night Lock-Out

The night I moved in was a complete nightmare from the get-go; I was moving with two huge suitcases (maxed out in weight), a carry-on suitcase (that was probably close to 40 lbs, itself), a massive tote bag, and way too many clothes for a warm day. After an extremely long journey, a delayed flight and a shuttle that took way too long to get me home, I finally arrived at my apartment at about 10:30 pm — having left Texas at 9 am…

When I was dropped off, I looked up at my Upper East Side walk-up and breathed a huge sigh a relief — I was finally here! And lucky for me, my apartment was on the first floor, so I was ecstatic to get inside and unwind. I had secured a sublet before my move, and my roommate had sent me my set of keys in advance because she knew she was going to be out-of-town that weekend.

I made it through the first set of doors inside my building, lugging my gargantuan pieces of baggage every step of the way. Only one more door to go until complete solace…!

And, of course — I couldn’t get the door open…

My roommate had warned me in advance that the lock on the old, pre-war New York City apartment doors were tricky to open, but no matter how many times I jiggled or shoved, it wouldn’t budge. Just as I went to pull out my phone to call her in complete panic, I saw an ominous, red, empty battery bar on my phone — it’s dead. God, help me. What, now?!

I looked around in complete hopelessness, until I heard a baby crying from an apartment down the hall. Knowing nothing else to do, I went and knocked. To my utmost joy, an Indian man answered, and I told him my tear-jerker saga. He invited me in and allowed me to charge my phone, while I called my roommate from his and his wife’s phone and left a desperate voicemail. Meanwhile, he offered to come down the hall and try his luck at my door.

For the next 45 minutes, the Indian man tried his hardest to open my door — but to no avail — only for us to find yet another neighbor, who offered to come try his luck at  The World’s Most Difficult Door to Open. An hour and half later — voila! It finally opened! I was so overjoyed, I threw myself into the second neighbor’s arms and nearly cried.

The kindness didn’t end there, folks. The Indian man and his wife were so kind as to insist I shower and come back over for some dinner, when it was midnight because they knew I hadn’t had anything to eat for hours.

An unforgettable first night in New York City I will never forget and will always cherish!

2. The Parsley Person

Coming home one night after a long, stressful day of work, I was really ready just to get home and relax. But of course, I had to make a pit stop to the grocery store — which I absolutely hate doing, no matter what kind of day I’m having!

On this particular day, all I needed to get was one bunch of parsley, and there was a supermarket right outside of the subway station where I exited going home. When I went to check out, the total came out to be about $1.00, and I realized I didn’t have any cash on me, but I hunted through my wallet to see if I could scrounge for enough change; I didn’t want to charge my credit card for such a small amount, and I told the cashier just that.

Because I couldn’t find enough, I exited the line and told the cashier I would try to find something else to buy. Even so, I was intending on buying something cheap — only worth a couple of bucks, nothing worth an entire grocery shopping trip. I looked around and couldn’t find anything I needed and resigned to using the credit card, so back I went…

As I got up to the front to pay, the cashier decided to tell me at that point that there was a $5.00 minimum to use a credit card, and I looked at him in complete exasperation…Seriously? You couldn’t have told me that before?

I told him I couldn’t buy the parsley then, and he said, “Okay…?” Gee, thanks a lot.

And then, just as I was walking away, a man behind me asked, “How much is it?” I told him it was $1.00, assuming he was just curious to know why I couldn’t pay with the credit card, but when I looked up, he was already pulling out a $1.00 bill and handing it over to the cashier!

I was so taken aback — I couldn’t believe the generosity of this complete stranger — especially when you consider how annoyed people in grocery store situations like these! (You know what I’m talking about.)

I couldn’t thank the man enough; I must have said it about 10 times before walking out — I just couldn’t believe some complete stranger had paid for my parsley for no reason. I was truly touched!

3. The Door-Stopper

Five times a week, I take the subway train at least twice: once to work and once back. And there isn’t a day that I don’t worry that those doors are going to close on me and either sever a limb or squish my insides into an anatomical smoothie. (I’ve come close many times, let me tell you — it hurts!) Anyone who has ridden the subway — especially at rush hours like these understands how chaotic it can get.

One day on my way to work, I was rushing down the steps (as usual, of course) to catch the train before it left the station; I hate when it’s sitting at the station like the way it was that day — like a tease: a cobra that strikes in reverse. I always expect the doors to close on me like a Venus Flytrap, which make the sitting trains that much more ominous.

On this particular day, I came zooming down the steps and ran inside only to see a woman standing at edge of the train with her hand held firmly against the corridor of the door — stopping the doors from closing. Not that they had starting closing yet, anyway, but this woman was taking full precaution to make sure they didn’t just so people like me could get on the train.

Now, there was absolutely no reason she needed to be doing this; the train (for once) had plenty of room for her to be in the air-conditioned galley — not putting her hands in harm’s way for other people. Trust me, my hands have gotten stuck in there before — it hurts!

I was really appreciative of this woman — what a lady!

4. The Pest Control Guy

I have to say, I haven’t seen as many disgusting bugs anywhere else as I have in New York. Just the other day, I saw a huge cockroach just walking along the street like the rest of us — guess he’s a New Yorker, too!

With that said, I was on an outing with my co-workers in SoHo the other day to get some cupcakes from our favorite place, Georgetown Cupcakes. While crossing the street — out of nowhere — huge June bug beetle lands itself right on my chest! And when I say huge, I mean half-dollar size. So, imagine a packed New York City street and a group of women, one of whom is now having a near anxiety attack because a beetle is sitting on her chest, is just standing in the middle of a street (granted, it was our turn to cross).

Then, a true miracle: a stranger walking the opposite direction stops, suddenly grabs the beetle off my chest, throws it up in the air and continues to walk along his way. Just like that.

This entire incident happened in a matter of seconds, and truth be told — this guy could have copped a feel on me considering this beetle was sitting inches within the vicinity of my bosom. So, for the fact that he appeared like magic, grabbed a beetle off a panicky woman’s chest in the middle of a crowded Manhattan city street and didn’t molest her? I’d say this was a true act of kindness (and magic!), indeed. Seriously, did that just happen?

So, there you go — there were just four random acts of kindness that I’ve experienced while I’ve been here, but there will be so many more to come, I’m sure. So, just please stop with the “New Yorkers are rude” business because obviously they’re all not.

Growing Up Sucks: 7 Reasons Why I Miss College Like Crazy


Ladder stile in SnowdoniaIn my head I’ve always pictured school as this tentative ladder we were all climbing — it started from Pre-k and went up to college (for the general population). Some people’s ladders broke before the end, and some people’s got more rungs added as time went on, but for the most part — this was the time line that you grew up expecting to follow.

So, what came after we reached the top of the ladders? My mental picture showed an open, weightless space into which we all took a giant leap and gracefully floated off to our separate ways to take our places in the “Real World.”  (I guess I was a pretty visual kid)

Well, I reached the top of my ladder last year, and I took the big leap into the weightless space. I hate to say that I was right all these years about what the metaphor of school and life would be like: I floated off into my separate way just like my friends did, and honestly — it sucks. But truthfully, it wasn’t that literal;  it’s not that I lost touch with everyone that makes me miss college like crazy.

It’s more like these 7 reasons here:

  1. I actually miss learning. Don’t get me wrong — I  will never miss studying or taking another test again, but when you’ve been mentally stimulated for 17 years of your life, you miss learning something and running home to your parents/roommates/friends and telling them, “Did you know…?” or “Guess what I learned today…”
  2. Going out needs an expense account, and partying will never be the same again. There’s no more conglomeration of 300 people in one huge house party or bar district, and forget about “college town prices.” Everything requires a cab, DD, and/or  triple the amount of money as it did in college.
  3. Everyone is getting married and having kids left and right — or is it just my friends? People still think I’m 15, and yet 90% of my high school friends (and I’m sure soon to be followed by college friends)  are domesticated. I just want to be in college again, when people were too busy hooking up and recovering from hangovers to care about wedding dresses and diapers.
  4. There’s no sense of intense camaraderie or pride anymore. Being in NYC is an exception, I guess, because New Yorkers are hardcore about their city, but even so — I just miss the football games, pep rallies, parades and college events that brought the entire university together. This is when I really feel like I’m floating off in my own space.
  5. The “future” is the present, now. I used to talk about “what I wanted to do when I grow up” and “what kind of guy I hope to marry ” and blah, blah, blah, but all of that is staring me in the face now, and sometimes it’s just too much! The transition between college graduate and adulthood is a nanosecond, and I really think we should send around a petition to make it longer.
  6. The weekends got shorter — by an entire day… They don’t start at noon on Friday when classes are out; they start at 7 or 8pm when you’re finished with work, and even then  — you’re tired as hell and barely want to do anything. By the time you make plans and follow through with them, it’s Saturday — which is the only day working people get to call a “day off” because Sunday means laundry, groceries and chores galore. Apparently, Fridays get cut with the rest of your paycheck…
  7. My friends were my family. There’s just nothing like walking down the hall of your dorm or the street and seeing anyone you want, and once you’re out of college, you realize how much you miss the accessibility of seeing your friends — who literally become family for that very reason. No matter how close you are, the Real World means you have to try that much harder to see each other — and floating around in your own space doesn’t make it that easy to do so…

Honestly, I would never trade in my college years for anything. I had some of the best and worst times, and they were absolutely, ridiculously, phenomenally the BEST 4 years of my life.

If you’re about to start college, take my advice: enjoy every. single. moment. of. it. Even if you’re not the party girl/guy, find your niche and do something that makes your college years some of the most memorable times of  your life because after these times, you’ll be like me — just floating in open space and missing it like crazy.

Tell me, do you miss your college years?