Stroke of Midnight: Welcome 2013


Welcome to the Future

Welcome to the Future

Wow, is it really 2013 today? When I was younger, growing up in the 90’s (the good old days), I used to refer to the far-away future by saying something like “…yeah, maybe in 2013” as if it was unimaginable to even think I’d be alive to see a year that far away. Realistically, it wasn’t that far away because I’m only still in my early 20’s, but it still feels pretty futuristic to be living in a year like 2013. But here it is: 2-0-1-3.

People always put pressure on what they’ll be doing at midnight every New Year’s Eve, and it’s a bit silly when you think about it. Time is ongoing, cyclical — and the beginning of a new year is more symbolic than anything else. Still, it’s a memorable time — to remember exactly what you were doing and where you were at the beginning of a new chapter.

12:00 a.m., January 1, 2013 for me was already memorable because I was in my favorite city: New York City. Not the friendliest to the passerby, but a soulmate to those living here, NYC had given me some great memories in the last year. I was spending New Year’s with a few friends at one of their apartments in the city, and the night was expected to be a great time ringing in 2013 with drinks, foods and general merriment. The hilarity and memorable ridiculousness that ensued wasn’t anything that we thought would happen, but it will definitely stay in my mind as one of the most memorable New Year’s I’ve had so far.

I was with just a few friends having snacks, playing drinking games and enjoying each other’s company on New Year’s Eve. We had a great view of the New York City skyline from the apartment we were in, and we had been debating for over an hour whether to head up to the rooftop to make an attempt to the see the fireworks that would be going off all around the city at midnight. Finally at 11:58, we decided to make a dash for it. There seemed to be an issue communicating to half of the 5 of us to walk out of the apartment and get into the elevator quickly before we missed midnight altogether. By the time we all made it in, there was less than 30 secs left before the stroke of midnight…

Then the elevator got stuck.

The rooftop had been closed off so the elevator made an attempt to go back down the 3 floors it needed to for us to be back on our floor. With 10 seconds left, we couldn’t believe our ridiculous predicament and resolved to begin the countdown. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

Happy New Year!

In all our vain to make our New Year’s spectacular with fireworks and an amazing view, we had missed everything altogether. We didn’t see the ball drop; we didn’t see any fireworks — we just spent it together laughing at the superb mess and perfect ridiculousness stuck in an elevator.

A minute later, we realized our elevator doors were only opening a few inches and closing up again. We really were stuck.

One of the brave in our party decided to try and pry the doors open, hoping the censors would kick in simultaneously. We got the drama we had wanted of beginning the New Year with something to remember as we literally scrambled out of the elevator hoping we wouldn’t be crushed by the steel doors.

And back in the apartment we went, only a few minutes after we had left. So, the first moment of 2013 was spent stuck in an elevator of a very nice apartment building in one of the most wonderful cities in the world. Not quite what I expected, but memorable it was nonetheless. Perhaps it was just the beginning of many circumstances this year that will play out in the same wonderful chaos into something better than expected?  Who knows!

Happy 2013 to you all, and may this year finally bring us what 2012 didn’t and more of what it did.

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Uncomfortable Truths


Aren’t people funny in that we are all guilty of the same bad habits, unhealthy actions, and “secret” faults – and yet we go on pretending like we are not “those people.” We point fingers at each other when we know our 3rd grade teachers were right — we’re only pointing three back to ourselves!

As a professional People Observer (it could pay more, I admit)  – I have noted some interesting guilty faults of the human race that makes me want to laugh out loud and say, “You know it’s true!”

  • When you put up a profile picture on Facebook (or anywhere) – even if it’s with other people – you’re only choosing it because you think you look good. The other person/people could be your best friend(s) and look like they have 3 chins, and you wouldn’t care. It especially makes me laugh when you look at a guy’s default picture because you’ll find he picked that one out of all the others because he looks good or “cool” in some way. You just happened to be laughing jovially with your side profile to the camera? Well, of course you were – real modeling pictures are expensive!  That’s what the “crop” tool is for, duh.
  • There comes a point when you’re talking to someone and you want to throw in something that sounds braggy about yourself – for instance, “Not to sound conceited, but I get a lot of compliments on my hair” or how about “I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve got great kids.” Well, the truth is you are a little conceited, and you definitely are bragging, but you’re just hoping to negate that impression by calling yourself out first. Well, it doesn’t really work, and I don’t mean to be vain – but I’m pretty sure I’m right about this.
  • There is a reason someone, some thousands of years ago, in a village in the middle of nowhere said, “Misery loves company,” – and the phrase is still well-known today. The guy/gal wasn’t necessarily a philosopher, but he was wise because don’t deny it – you know when you’re having a crappy day, you don’t really feel like hearing someone else had an absolutely wonderful one. Are you really happy your neighbor won $5.4 million dollars with his first lottery ticket when you’ve probably spent half that in buying them? Do you really want to hear that your friend aced that test and you bombed yours? No, of course not. I love it when someone loses with me, and that’s the stinkin’ truth!
What else do all people do that is uncomfortably true?
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You Know Social Media Has Taken Over When…


As people of the Social Media Era, we will go down in history as the fierce who took over not a nation, but the world via our computers and phones.

In lieu of this truth that is ambiguous in being a joyous or incredibly disturbing matter, we should take a minute to remember this time and truly understand what this means. Because you really know social media has taken over when…

  • You can roll on the floor laughing, laugh your ass off, or just laugh out loud without so much as cracking a smile. Hey at least this generation won’t have to worry about laugh lines…
  • Statements like, “I’m following you” and “I stalked you” won’t get you slapped with a lawsuit or a restraining order.
  • Deactivating an account means losing every part of your life because it completely exists online.
  • Physically stalking is actually an amateur’s game when you can simply wait for a dumbass to leave a perfect trace by ‘checking-in’ every time they go somewhere.
  • You’re more worried about getting Carpal Tunnel Syndrome than the flu.
Hip-hop hooray for Social Media Day!

10 Things Austinites Want You to Know


austin texas

Outsiders know Austin as the capital of Texas and the home of the loud, proud, and party-hardy Longhorns. Austinites, however, will tell you a few more notable distinctions about this “weird” city. If you’ve never been to the city then there are some things you should know — and if you’re one of the elite crowd that calls itself Austinites, laugh along. Read on, and become a weirdo yourself.

  1. Calling people weird here is only a compliment to our city’s pride. Haven’t you seen the shirts?
  2. Don’t stare so much at the tattoos, piercings and crazy hair. And when you’re caught, don’t pretend like you weren’t looking. Pretend like you think it’s cool and walk on — you’re really only embarrassing yourself.
  3. The chances of you getting onto the E-Bus from 6th Street are about the same the Titanic passengers had for getting in a lifeboat. The risks of trying — also about the same. Get ready for a terrifying show.
  4. Yes, trailer food is made in a trailer. It’s pretty explanatory, people.
  5. When you get a ticket for your drunken antics from a cop on a horse, you’re just drunk, not tripping. They’re real, promise.
  6. Mopac is Loop 1. Loop 1 is Mopac. Sorry, that’s our bad.
  7. Oh, that guy in the thong? That’s just Leslie. He was almost our mayor — say hello!
  8. Pronounce “Guadalupe” and “San Jacinto” authentically in Spanish, and we’ll know you’re from out of town.
  9. If the cars are parked the opposite way you’re driving — take it as a sign that you’re about to really piss off someone who knows what a one-way is.
  10. No matter what the season, A&M and OU always suck.

Do the Snugarena!


There are few universal truths in this world and one of them is that if you don’t own a blanket with arms, a Snuggie, you are lesser of a person. Just kidding. But if you don’t know what it is, you really must be living under a rock. The invention of the Snuggie is probably one of the most ridiculous creations known to mankind. Even if you can accept the concept of the robe/blanket hybrid, I don’t know anyone who can take the commercial seriously. A family complete with grandparents and tiny tots all sporting a Snuggie around the house doing their normal everyday things like watching TV, attending sporting events, and playing board games. I mean, really, who couldn’t use a Snuggie at a football game or when you’re crushing someone at Monopoly? It just makes sense.

Well, if the original ad for Snuggie wasn’t ridiculous enough, they’ve come out with a NEW one! And the best part? It’s made to the tune of our favorite 90’s sing-and-dance-along jam, the Macarena! That’s right, it’s the Snugarena! What could be better?! I’ll tell you what – now Snuggie also comes in fun prints and colors! Too good to be true. Too. Good. To. Be. True.

Check it out for yourself!

Don’t Misunderestimate – Preserve the Disorder


It’s human nature to bash others for their mistakes: partly because it helps us bring people who carry an air of especial air of ‘importance’ (celebs, royalty, officials) back down to more human level with us commoners and partly because people just like to see other people fail (everyone does, at least a little) because it makes us feel better about our own bloopers.

Of course, most of us don’t make a TIME list for our mishaps so the world can laugh at them and boost their egos, but these people did: The Greatest Politician Malapropisms, Misspeaks, and Made-up Words of All Time

Enjoy!

Ellen Scares Taylor Swift


Ellen DeGeneres does some crazy stuff on her show for those of you who’ve never seen it. Her humor is very nostalgic of slapstick comedy from the 50’s and there’s a reason why shows like I Love Lucy were so so incredibly successful (and still are some 50+ years later). One of Ellen’s signature antics is to scare her guests – which always makes for great entertainment.

Watch her scare the bejesus out of Taylor Swift: http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2010/07/ellen_scares_taylor_swift_0712.php