I Was Born This Way…So Stop Trying to Change Me!


Lady Gaga singing "Born This Way" wi...

Everyone has felt that feeling when someone says the same thing to you over and over again about a personality trait or characteristic that you should “work on” and you feel like screaming, “I can’t help it!” But isn’t it funny that we pass this attack onto the next person until it becomes a vicious cycle of constant nit-picking on one thing or another?

I once read a Chinese proverb that instructed, “Deal with others faults as gently as with your own,” and it was one of those moments that I had a light bulb go off in my head. I jotted the lesson down — both mentally and in my book of quotes I spoke about in a previous post. I did this to remind myself that just like I often feel like shaking some people (somewhat violently, at times) and enunciating every syllable of, “I. CAN’T. HELP. IT.” — that feeling isn’t a unique one. Everyone feels criticized at some point for having some annoying quality that they just seemed to have been born with. If it’s not directly harming someone you – is it worth hurting that person’s feelings to constantly nag and criticize? In a moment like that, even I want to bust out some Lady Gaga and shout from a mountain top, “Baby, I was born this way!”

I’ll tell you mine, if you tell me yours…

Clumsy Beyond Help

I truly, absolutely, positively believe that some people in this world are born clumsy. I can’t explain how many times I’ve literally astounded even myself by my ungraceful tactics. And here I am: 22-years-old and still getting chastised by my parents every single time I run into a wall in front of me or turn around and knock down an entire glass of water in my lap. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t even react with outrage or stress out — because seriously — I CAN’T HELP IT! I am not the type of person who is careless or unmindful of her surroundings. I mean, what kind of normal human being trips on her own pants (skinny jeans, at that) because a toe got caught in one leg? Does a regular person often go to change a shirt and maims herself by scratching her face in the process? Is it common for a graceful person to bend down to wash her face only to pull an entire group of muscles from neck to shoulder blade rendering her partially paralyzed for days? Perhaps a normal child trips during hopscotch and chips half her tooth off? No! But a gal of the clumsy trait is likely to do all these things —so PLEASE, can we stop with the lectures about being “more careful” and to “watch where I’m going”?! I’m just naturally clumsy!!

Chatty Kathy

Okay, please just spare me the “Wow,  you talk a lot” crap. Again, I am so very sorry if this has caused a superb burden in your life, but I have tried again and again to remedy this “problem” to no avail. And I have to say — this is one of those things that I have to admit offends me when I hear it so often. I put up with a lot of people’s quirks and somewhat annoying traits, and this is one of mine! So, before you tell someone behind my back or jokingly tell it to my face — there’s really no need. I have no bitterness or resentment to those who have commented on my nature to speak 100 mph and 1000 words a minute because I know it’s the truth. But you know what? I have a tendency to speak as fast as I think, and it’s a lot harder not to do so when it’s a natural feeling. I think I’ve become more aware of the issue in social situations, and try to work at it — but, if you’re hoping the chattiness will go away — it’s not going to! Because truly, it’s something I was born with. Why do others mumble, or talk slowly, or whatever else? You already know the answer…

The Dumped

This will probably be the craziest sounding quality on this list, but I swear on my life it’s true and I really do believe there are just people in this world who are born with this tendency (although there probably has to be something to do with destiny or cosmic powers, or whatever). I have ALWAYS had this tendency to be stood up, and I don’t mean just by boys. I mean friends, boys, even employers! And no, I’m really not asking for sympathy or your “Awww” reaction. I do not forget to return a call or follow up with someone, and if I do — it’s rare. And even then, you can expect an overdose of apologies and genuine remorse. But for SOME reason, people really just have a tendency to (genuinely or not) forget to call or follow up, or whatever with me. It just happens — always has! It doesn’t even surprise me anymore — frustrates, yes — but not really a surprise factor anymore.

And yes, I’ve gotten the whole “Stop hanging out with the wrong crowd,” but most people in my life are really great people. It would be one thing if it was a personal thing, but I have literally been approached a million times by employers or people in professional settings to work for them, etc. and then when I am the one to follow up — poof! Nothing! It makes absolutely no sense, but I have to tell myself: I was just born this way. What can someone like me do, but hope for better next time and reap through the flaky? No point in wallowing!

So there you go, I’ve spilled about things I am absolutely certain I was born with/as. Your turn!

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9 thoughts on “I Was Born This Way…So Stop Trying to Change Me!

  1. I can relate to all 3 points! Clumsy – I had my iphone replaced 3 times in 6 months. Chatty – I tend to dominate conversations, only cos I have so many darn interesting things to say! (well, sometimes). The dumped – I’m always waiting on people, being stood up and what not – even taken advantage by my own “friends”.

    Thanks! You’ve just inspired me on my next post. “I was born this way” 🙂

    • Oh my gosh, if I could tell you how many times I’ve just accidentally left my phone or purse somewhere!! I totally know that feeling.

      And glad to have sparked a plug! 🙂 Good luck with your post!

  2. Funny. It’s nice to see you be able to pick yourself apart, (positively) and stay light about it. Good practice! I think the whole “born this way thing” is specific to a type of personality. For me, I never feel like I can’t change. Infact, I’m more in the camp where I have a hard time staying the same. Not that I’m unable to lack consistency, but my feelings, thoughts, ect are always in the process of evolving. It means that I must learn better filters, bc 5 days air time on a thought creates an entirely different perspective than when “it’ first happend.

  3. I love this post! And I want to play, too. 🙂 Hmm… Let’s see:

    – Quiet. It takes a long time for me to feel comfortable around new people. Especially girls. So most people never take the time to get to know me and see that I might not be QUITE as boring as I seem. I criticize myself about this all the time, but I’m trying to remember that being quiet isn’t necessarily a negative trait.
    – Dreamer. I can’t help that the world I long for is not “real”.
    – Picky. And I don’t mean, like “I don’t want to eat the food that’s touching my other food”, even if that is true as well. I mean, I pick at things. I pick at my nails. My skin. The piece of thread that is hanging off a friend’s shirt. It sounds gross and it sounds like some kind of disorder, but I think other people should just embrace it. Right?

    • Awesome! 🙂 And I have to say — I am totally a “picky” person! I tend to pick at my skin too (gross, I know!!!), and I get in trouble with my mom every time she catches me, haha! I also have a bad habit of picking at my cuticles. It’s just 2nd nature to do so!

  4. Pingback: 5 Things I Want You to Know About Me Right Away | A Metaphorical Mind

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