It would be a reasonable statement to make that people are naturally inclined to protect: their loved ones, their property, and themselves. When it comes to emotions, humans often instinctively put up defenses when another person attacks them with harsh words, whether they’re true or not. One emotion that tends to seep up from when such a situation arises is the fiery force known as anger.
Anger becomes the partner in crime when one party is hurt or trying to hurt – powerful in force and effective in its motive. The devil in disguise, anger often feels empowering when it runs icy-hot through your veins. It bolsters the wannabe warrior’s shield to keep the pain from penetrating and hurting. The problem is that the “shield” can keep anger and other antagonistic feelings in until they build up so intensely that they’re nearly impossible to shake.
People often harp about apologies and simply wanting some remorse from the “Bad Deed Committer;” this is the only thing they want, they swear, and then all will be well. But is this a big, fat lie?
At times, it seems people can harbor so much anger because they think it’s better than admitting they’re hurt that the deceptive emotion can turn around and stab them. In such cases, do they even care about getting a meaningful apology to really forgive (and possibly forget)? Or does an apology only give the angry free range to attack the vulnerable guilt-ridden party? If a person doesn’t really want to forgive, then there doesn’t seem to be a way to forget, and saying “I’m sorry” is just pointless.
The big picture about forgiving may not be about apologizing but about accepting an apology. If someone is so intent on staying angry, then how can you expect anyone to apologize? Of course, when the apology doesn’t come, the person can use that in his/her defense by complaining about the lack of remorse on the other party’s part. Truth be told: all this screams is HYPOCRITE. It’s just unfair to expect remorse when you’re not even willing to forgive.
- Listen and Try to Understand (metaphoricalmind.com)
- The Most Powerful F Word: Forgiveness: (iamlaylajames.com)
- Forgiveness: Is Holding On To Anger Holding You Back? (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- 3 Things We Should Say More (metaphoricalmind.com)