The Pointless Apology

It would be a reasonable statement to make that people are naturally inclined to protect: their loved ones, their property, and themselves. When it comes to emotions, humans often instinctively put up defenses when another person attacks them with harsh words, whether they’re true or not. One emotion that tends to seep up from when such a situation arises is the fiery force known as anger.

Anger becomes the partner in crime when one party is hurt or trying to hurt –  powerful in force and effective in its motive. The devil in disguise, anger often feels empowering when it runs icy-hot through your veins. It bolsters the wannabe warrior’s shield to keep the pain from penetrating and hurting. The problem is that the “shield” can keep anger and other antagonistic feelings in until they build up so intensely that they’re nearly impossible to shake.

People often harp about apologies and simply wanting some remorse from the  “Bad Deed Committer;” this is the only thing they want, they swear, and then all will be well. But is this a big, fat lie?

At times, it seems people can harbor so much anger because they think it’s better than admitting they’re hurt that the deceptive emotion can turn around and stab them. In such cases, do they even care about getting a meaningful apology to really forgive (and possibly forget)? Or does an apology only give the angry free range to attack the vulnerable guilt-ridden party? If a person doesn’t really want to forgive, then there doesn’t seem to be a way to forget, and saying “I’m sorry” is just pointless.

The big picture about forgiving may not be about apologizing but about accepting an apology. If someone is so intent on staying angry, then how can you expect anyone to apologize? Of course, when the apology doesn’t come, the person can use that in his/her defense by complaining about the lack of remorse on the other party’s part. Truth be told: all this screams is HYPOCRITE. It’s just unfair to expect remorse when you’re not even willing to forgive.


4 thoughts on “The Pointless Apology

  1. I know how you feel, the hard part i find is when the person who did wrong is refusing to admit it. Then they turn around and make YOU look like the bad person! happens to me far too often.

    • Well you know, I think that’s what most people complain about – that wrongdoers won’t admit to their wrongdoing. But my stance on this article was from the remorseful wrongdoer’s perspective because sometimes you can take all the steps to be sorry for something, but there are those people who don’t really care about someone being sorry because they’re just intent on being mad. What’s the point in that?

      But I do know what you’re talking about. I think that’s equally as frustrating. I think pride and anger take over for both of these situations and it’s really unfortunate…

  2. Oh wow i apologize for the mix up! I’ve been going through that for the past two days, except in my case i am trying to right a wrong and the person receiving the apology isn’t willing to accept apology out of exactly as you stated, pride! i guess we can take comfort at least that we’ve tried to be the better person in the end huh?

    • Not a problem. You brought up a point in itself! But yeah, I’m on the same end. You apologize, but you know you’re only adding ammo because some people don’t deserve apologies. An apology to them translates to defeat for the other person and victory for them; they take the moment the other person is vulnerable and release more anger. Very frustrating. But what can you do? You’re right, you can say you tried and know you did what you could, but as with all relationships it’s always 50/50!

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