Hindsight Love: Does it Even Matter?


One thing that has always fascinated me is how much regret people harbor when someone dies — for not appreciating them enough, for not telling them they love them one more time, for picking that last fight.

When news broke that troubled, and often controversial, singer Amy Winehouse was found dead in her London home in late July 2011, the world went quiet. The critics stopped criticizing; the fans sent hoards of love and messages of sadness, and even those in between said prayers so her soul could finally rest in peace.

But where was all of that when she was alive? Why is it that people love to hate and hurt even those that they care about, and then instantly feel remorse when something tragic like death happens? Then ensues a never-ending sob story of how much they “wished they could take the words back,” and if only they could “express their love one more time,” and it’s complete bullshit to me, excuse my harsh opinion.

If you care about someone, then the effort should be made to keep one another happy, to care, and to just appreciate what good that person brings to your life. Instead, the good is never enough for most people. No matter how good someone may be — those in their lives will always find the negative to harp on. This isn’t a blanket statement, of course, but it’s quite often true for many situations.

I don’t think it’s necessary for everyone to be extremely lovey-dovey everyday because that just feels unnatural — people just get on your nerves. But isn’t it worth it just to remember the feelings you have deep down for someone to avoid really hurting them? Be they family, friends, significant others or even strangers — people find ways to hurt each other by simply neglecting to show their love in small actions. But, why?

Shouldn’t your love be more active when someone is alive and in front of you than when they’re dead? It makes me question, does hindsight love even matter? I think it’s bullshit. If there isn’t an effort to help someone to be happy when they could’ve used it, then maybe you deserve to live with regret when it’s too late because the truth is people always know better; they just choose to act differently. And you have no one else to blame, but yourself.

So, why don’t people just try giving more of a shit about someone they care about — if nothing else, but just to see them be happy? Maybe you won’t be able to prevent a tragedy from occurring, but you’ll remember that you appreciated that person in your life and won’t have lifelong remorse to live with. More importantly though, you’ll know you made someone you care about feel cared about. Isn’t that worth it?

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5 thoughts on “Hindsight Love: Does it Even Matter?

  1. Nice piece. It’s so conflicting when people don’t honor one another more when they’re alive then when they’re dead. I think it’s because we’re comfortable when they’re alive that we dont think they’re going to drop dead any moment. Death allows reality to hit and that’s when we feel sorry. Human nature? Probably so…

    • It really is. Why are we such hypocritical beings? I mean, don’t cry these sob stories about your regret after it’s too late. I understand so many people hate to think about the future and plan for bad things, but it doesn’t take conscious thinking about death just to be good to each other on a daily basis. You don’t have to go out of your way, but don’t treat each other so shitty! There is such a thing as a middle ground…

  2. This is a great piece! I think we get comfortable and take people for granted while they’re in our lives. When they leave us, we love them more (I think) because we feel guilty, we feel that we didn’t show how much we truly cared about them. I’m not a lovey dovey person at all, but I try to let people know that I care whenever I can, because when I don’t I often look back with guilt and regrets. Kindness truly benefits everyone – the giver and recieved.

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