Everything’s Always Best in Texas


A few years ago, Houston topped the country’s Fattest Cities list. Definitely not something to brag about, but hey, it made for a good laugh. We all know how Texans love to be the biggest and baddest (and fattest apparently). Well, turns out Texans are still topping lists, but at least they’ve gotten more covetable.

Men’s Health evaluated the 100 most “sex-happy” cities in the country recently. They based their rankings on 3 criteria: condom sales, birth rates, and STD rates. (Although you’d think that the more condom sales, the lower the birth rates? Hm…) What did Men’s Health find? Well, let’s just say that Austin has more to boast about than being the state capital and home to the Longhorns! That’s right ladies and gents – the #1 “sex-happy” city in the country is none other than Austin, Texas!

Austin was also ranked #1 for condom sales and #15 for birth rates and #23 for STD rates. So if you’re looking for some lovin’, mosey on down to Austin, TX y’all!

The good news is that Texas in general seems to be a very sexually content state. Other cities that made the list are:

  • Dallas – #2 overall
  • Condom sales: #5
  • Birth rates: #6
  • STD rates: #26
  • Arlington – #7 overall
  • Condom sales: 5th
  • Birth rates: 16th
  • STD rates: 54th
  • Houston – #10 overall
  • Condom sales: 10th
  • Birth rates: 8th
  • STD rates: 50th

Interestingly enough, Texas also is the home to some of the fattest cities. (Although Houston has graciously given up its reign as the head fatty — but only to another Texas city, of course). On another list on by Men’s Health, Texas cities made a total of 9 appearances on the list of 100 Fattest and Leanest Cities in the country.Unfortunately, most were for the “fattest”

Now you’re probably thinking that that probably means overweight people are having a lot of good sex, but Arlington was teetering the fattest/leanest line and Austin actually is one of the leanest.

The criteria used included:

  • the percentage of overweight people
  • the percentage of Type 2 Diabetes
  • the percentage of people who haven’t left the couch in a month (yes, this can be scientifically determined)
  • the money spent on junk food
  • the number of people who ate fast food 9 times or more in a month

The Texas cities that made the list were:

  • Corpus Christi: #1, F
  • El Paso: #3, F
  • Dallas: #4, F
  • San Antonio: #7, F
  • Houston: #9, D-
  • Lubbock: #13, D-
  • Arlington: #54, C+
  • Fort Worth: #66, B-
  • Austin: #95, A

Makes sense why Austin is the sex-happiest, eh? However, Dallas and Houston people are almost at the same spots as the sex-happy list  (at the top) –  meaning they’re some of the fattest and most sexually satisfied? Interesting…

Well I guess it’s safe to say that we, Texans, do like to go for the gold – whatever the category!

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One thought on “Everything’s Always Best in Texas

  1. hmm how do i get in on this? ;]

    but I feel like there are other places teeming with sex more so than TX, like Cali, NY, and Florida, I bet they just don’t use protection. I saw this one thing though, that TX has extremely high rates of chlamydia…yay TX!! hook ’em!

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