The other day I tried an experiment with myself. (Nothing dirty, so stop yourself from going down that path.) What I did was simple and strange, but what was more interesting is the conclusion I came to.
I stood in front of the mirror for a couple of minutes and just looked at myself. Really looked at myself and tried to attach my soul within to the eyes that were meeting mine in the mirror. A few minutes in, I began to detach and started to freak out a bit. I stopped recognizing that person and realized that the body I was looking at represented so little of the person I knew myself to be. It came to me hard and and instantly that there was so little that people probably understood about me, if they had spoken to me a few times or a million times — or never.
So, I thought to myself: if there were 5 virtual sticky notes I could slap on myself just so people could know what I wanted them know about me — what would they be? I tried to picture my shell as others see and understand the misalignment of what is there outside to what is inside.
What people probably see and assume: Foram cares about her appearance; is a little cocky, kind of unapproachable but seemingly friendly, hard to read, talkative.
These were honestly the qualities I realized people probably pick up if they were just to see me or talk to me briefly. Sadly, these might be the characteristics they see even if they consider me a friend. These qualities aren’t necessarily wrong, but there are things about me that I would want anyone to know about me that I consider to be the soft little turtle inside the hard shell.
Above all else, I savor love – intangible, hard, pure love. I love fiercely for those that I care about, and crave it just the same. The words won’t mean as much to me as a hug or an action drenched in love. Incidentally, words are too few and insignificant to describe the love that I truly have for those around me, and I often only need a drop to return a gallon.
I am very introspective person and am constantly reevaluating myself, the world, and everything contained within and beyond. I work very hard not to close my mind to ideas I’ve never considered, and it doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t have opinions because I definitely do. It simply means that I am always reconsidering my thoughts and beliefs to make sure I am truly connecting to those values and ideas I say I adhere to.
I’ve joked that if curiosity really killed the cat, then I would’ve been dead long ago. I ask a million questions because I enjoy nothing more than to learn — about the world, about myself, about people. People fascinate me infinitely and I can’t help but instantly (and constantly) wonder and pick brains apart. I can’t explain interest I have of understanding the multi-faceted brain and soul of a person, but it often makes me tread the line of ‘interested’ and ‘nosy’. ‘What? Why? When? Where? Why?’ are often the first words out of my mouth at the start of a topic.
I am a very nostalgic person and love to preserve memories. This would also explain my passion for history because it allows you to take a glimpse into each phase of a life and understand how and why a person or even the world in general has evolved. For me, keeping a constant connection with the past helps me to appreciate my life as a whole and this means staying in touch with friends, revisiting places that I have connections with, and always being able to take a quick peak at the tiny pieces that are so integral in making up the grand mosaic of an individual’s life via pictures, journals, and even letters to my future self.
I’m not a violent person, by any means but I do have my opinions. I am a strong advocate against saying things out of anger, but I will fight for my stand point. I am very passionate about core values and ideas, and don’t see a reason why I can’t express myself in a conversation. On the flip side, I have realized the determination side of ‘fighting’ has been integral in helping me in school, relationships in general, and other areas of life. I won’t say I am the strongest person in the world because it’s always easier to stop fighting against a seemingly unstoppable force, but then where is the fun in losing?
These are the stickies I would put on myself, and I wonder if my exterior would change any to reflect my core. Most likely it wouldn’t because maybe that’s the whole point in having a physical form – so that we learn how to make sure we all understand that the bodies treading the earth are just that: bodies that will just wither once we’re dead. It’s the ‘me’ within that is churning and evolving and aging too. But it can also stay just the way you want it to, and no amount of wrinkle cream and Botox is necessary for that.
So, if you could, what would the top 5 things you’d want people to see through a window to your soul?